Before you really think that I’ve gone off the deep end, this isn’t going to be a post about how “inspirational” or “real-life” I find the show Grey’s Anatomy to be. I do believe that it has its moments. It’s funny, charming and, for the most part, realistic – at least as far as human interactions and personalities go. The characters seem like real people, and I enjoy the human component coupled with the medical drama. Yes, I ws a major ER fan and used to religiously watch late-night episodes on Channel 4 when I lived in England.
But no, it hasn’t taught me the meaning of gratitude.
Rather, watching the show on the instant Netflix for the past two days has made me start thinking about the things for which I am grateful.
It’s been an interesting week, for sure, and suddenly I found myself the recipient of a lot of fun, free things. I won tickets – rather embarrassingly – on the radio and was informed this morning that I won my first blog-related giveaway. I’m enjoying the enchantments of each surprise; it still doesn’t feel real. Of course, I’m grateful for anything gratis – being perpetually broke means few treats and very savvy navigation of the wine section at Trader Joe’s. Literally, the only pair of shoes I have purchased this year is a pair of flip flops from Walgreen’s and they cost $3. I know that’s far more than some people in some parts of the world have to spare, and I am also grateful for the mere fact that I have a spare $3.
However, the biggest thing for which I can express gratitude is time. These nearly ten months away from work have given me the opportunity to be with my family, through some particularly rough spots, but also some really lovely events. Last weekend, I went home for my cousin’s Sweet Sixteen party and I could really enjoy being there and celebrating with her, as I didn’t have work or other obligations hanging over my head. When my grandpa passed away, I was able to take extra days and weeks to spend with my family; this was invaluable. And now my uncle is coming to visit from England, and I have time to go visit with him, go home and also spend Yom Kippur with my mom and grandma. For all of this, I am so thankful and appreciative. One day I’ll find another job – one that appreciates me and my talents. But one day I suddenly won’t have the opportunity to go back and have all this time, which I would have lost had I been working. The sting of what happened is fading, very slowly, but it won’t stop hurting for years. However, I appreciate and will cherish the time I was given as a result of this hardship.
I’m thankful for the time I have had for myself. Even I know that it has been a little bit too much time and too much isolation. I’m a social person and I like people, feeling productive and contributing. It’s the way of the world that in order to meet people, you generally have to spend money, especially with the activities that I want to do. But I have a lot of gratitude for the space that I have been given, the opportunity to work on improving myself and developing as a writer and as a person, and the fact that I found my own “treats,” like watching Grey’s Anatomy marathons in the afternoon. I have discovered Willa Cather, and started visiting the library again. My driving skills have improved, and I can make a mean dinner with few ingredients. For all this, and the chance to pull myself together emotionally, I am grateful.
Now I’m ready for the next challenge. And will be armed with a better appreciation of details, stronger sense of self and deeper understanding of what is important to me.